Bummed...

May 1st, 2012 at 10:11:37 PM

The original plan was that Ed was going to come down Thursday and we'd stay here til Monday. My parents would be gone for the weekend and we would spend quality time with the kids before I go. To no one's fault, plan's have changed and now I'm leaving Friday. And though I'm happy I'm going to be home I'm bummed as well. I was really looking forward to spending some time with the kids and I'm going to miss them horribly. I won't be here to see Cai grow up or help Caleb through his first year or high school. But I can't not go on Friday. I need to get to Ed as soon as possible. I'm ridiculously worried about him and need to be with him. But nonetheless, I am still bummed.

Visions or memories?

April 30th, 2012 at 03:19:59 PM

I closed my eyes and pressed my fists hard upon them and in the darkness stars bloomed forth.Among the light against the dark pictures and visions took form. I saw a woman, she had piercing eyes and thick dark hair, unruly hair, wild hair. Her eyes saw into my soul. Her hair spoke of tempests and storms. Next, a man with a brimmed hat, his fast cast n shadows. Even his silhouette was enough to spear disquiet through me. My eyes snapped open of their own accord so the visions would cease. And after my heart had calmed I tried again. But, I saw naught but the void, as if the Sandman had swallowed all so I could not glimpse him approaching in the dark.

Bad memories.

April 11th, 2012 at 03:18:40 AM

I've noticed when I get lonely bad memories tend to pop up.
Things you've said will play and repeat in my head.
"You weren't good enough for me.
Just remember whatever guy you get with next you won't be good enough for either."
'If you see me on the street, keep walking.
Because I'm going to forget we were ever anything.'

God. Fuck.
Please.
I love you so much.
I'm not willing to live without you.
I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life.
But please.
Please. Fucking please don't break me again.

Promise me you won't ever give up on us.
Promise me you won't ever walk away.
Promise me I'll always come first.
I'll always be the most important thing in your life.
Promise me you want to build a future with me
Promise me you won't ever want a life without me in it.
Promise you'll always try.

Please don't break my heart.