i give up

February 18th, 2007 at 06:39:31 PM

13 degrees out
not 14
or 12
but 13

and it was 3 days from now
not today
or yesterday
or the day after that

we were surrounded by him and him and her
not her and her and him
or him and her
or him and him and him
etcetera

next to me

February 18th, 2007 at 06:32:57 PM

(so after a long hiatus from the sky he opened his window once again)

it was on accident
how i saw her
again
but this time she looked back

(his eyes blinked with confusion)

with the disgust i had
expected from her
this whole time

(and he was confused with her presence)

as if opening my window
could allow such a vista
and have that only crushed
by the weight of the sky
staring back
she had been
watching
this whole time

(and then in some amazing display, she disappeared)

now gray with no hope
of ever returning.

amen

February 13th, 2007 at 05:44:29 AM

if i could turn off the lights in this room i could put my book away and finally breath the air deep into these parched lungs. dreaming of something new i could cut my veins and bleed out onto the sheets and have it not mean a thing anymore. i could grow into my bones and walk gallantly into fantasy without a limp or a crutch or a game of catch up. king of prosthetics i find it comical how you associate my plastic face to your reality. king of the whisper i find it comical how you pretend to hear. if the tobacco in the air could mean more i would let her know the contents of my stomach.

FUNNY HOW MURKY THE INSIDE OF MY HEART IS.